This page is general health information, not medical advice. It cannot tell you whether you have an infection. A clinician can, and the testing options on this site are a good place to start.

Telling someone about an STD is hard, and almost everyone who has done it says the dread was worse than the conversation. This guide walks you through how to tell someone about an STD, step by step, with a script you can adapt. It also explains expedited partner therapy and what Illinois law says about it.

STIs are common in Chicago. The Illinois Department of Public Health (IDPH) reported a chlamydia rate of 1,023.7 per 100,000 people in the city in 2022. You are far from the only person having this conversation.

Why partners need to know and need care too

Many STIs cause no symptoms, so a partner may have no idea they were exposed. The CDC STI Treatment Guidelines (2021) recommend that sex partners of a person with an STI be evaluated, tested and, when appropriate, treated.

There is a second reason. If only one person is treated for a bacterial infection, the other may pass it back. Clinicians call this reinfection. Telling a partner protects them, and it can help you too.

Partner notification is simply the public health term for this process. It means letting recent partners know so they can get care.

What you need before you start

Information from your clinician. Ask what the infection is, whether it is curable or manageable, and which of your partners should be told. Only a clinician or a test can tell you what you have.
A list of recent partners. Write down who they are and how you can reach them. Your clinician can tell you how far back to look.
A private, unhurried setting. Choose somewhere you will not be interrupted.
A short script. You will find one below.
A place to send your partner. Have one or two testing options ready, such as the ones in this article or the CDC GetTested locator.
Support for yourself. A friend, a counselor or your clinic's staff can help before and after.

Step-by-step: how to tell your partner about an STD

Step 1: Get the facts first

Before you talk, ask your clinician what your result means and what treatment they prescribe. Ask whether the infection can be cured. Under the CDC STI Treatment Guidelines (2021), bacterial STIs and trichomoniasis are curable with treatment from a clinician. HIV, herpes and HPV are not curable, but they are treatable or manageable.

Knowing this helps you answer the first question most partners ask, which is "What does this mean?"

Step 2: Decide who needs to hear it

Not every past partner needs the same message. Your clinician can help you figure out which partners were within the time frame that matters for your infection. For Illinois EPT, for example, the state statute looks at partners exposed within the previous 60 days (more on that below).

Step 3: Choose the right way to tell them

In person or by phone is usually best for a current partner, because it lets them ask questions. A text or message can work for someone you no longer see, or if you do not feel safe having a live conversation. Your safety comes first.

If you are worried about how a partner may react, or you do not feel safe, tell your clinician. They can talk through other options with you.

Step 4: Pick a calm time and place

Avoid telling someone right before sex, during an argument, or when either of you has been drinking. Try something like, "Can we talk tonight? It is important, and it is not about anything you did wrong."

Step 5: Use a short, plain script

Lead with care, state the facts, and give a next step. Here is one example you can change to fit your voice:

"I want to tell you something because I care about you and your health."
"I recently got tested and my clinician told me I have [name of infection]."
"Since we were together, you may have been exposed. Many people have no symptoms, so the only way to know is to get tested."
"The clinic told me it can be [treated / managed], and I am getting care for it."
"Here are some places you can go. I am happy to help you find one."

Keep the focus on information, not blame. Infections move between people of every gender, orientation and relationship type. Nobody is at fault for having one.

Step 6: Listen and let them react

Your partner may feel surprised, hurt, worried or quiet. Any of those is a normal first response. You do not need to answer everything on the spot. It is fine to say, "I do not know, but I can find out."

Give them time. If the conversation becomes heated, you can pause it and return later.

Step 7: Point to testing and care

Encourage your partner to see a clinician, even if they feel fine. A test can tell them what is going on, and a clinician can decide on treatment. If you share a chlamydia, gonorrhea or trichomoniasis diagnosis, your clinician may be able to offer expedited partner therapy, explained next.

Step 8: Plan the follow-up

Ask your clinician when to return for any recheck and when it is a good idea to wait before sex. Do not guess. Follow what they tell you, and let your partner know the plan too.

Expedited partner therapy (EPT) in Illinois

Expedited partner therapy is a way for a clinician to provide treatment or a prescription for a patient's partner without first examining that partner. It exists to help partners get care quickly when they might not otherwise make it to a clinic.

According to the CDC's Legal Status of EPT in Illinois page, Illinois law permits EPT. The statute authorizes it for three infections: chlamydia, gonorrhea and trichomoniasis. Syphilis is not covered.

The Illinois Sexually Transmitted Infection Control Act (410 ILCS 325/6) limits EPT to partners exposed within the previous 60 days. It also requires counseling and written IDPH materials for the partner.

A few important points:

Whether EPT is offered is up to your clinician. Ask them directly.
Treatment is whatever a clinician prescribes. Do not share or take someone else's medicine.
EPT is not a replacement for a full visit. Partners may still benefit from testing for other infections, including HIV and syphilis, and from a conversation with a clinician about their own health.
EPT may not suit every situation, such as when a partner has symptoms that need an exam, or in pregnancy. A clinician can say what applies.

Anonymous notification and the health department

Some people are not able to tell a partner themselves. Some health departments offer to notify partners without naming the person who tested positive. The Chicago Department of Public Health's sexual health services page does not describe an anonymous notification service, so this article cannot confirm one is available. Ask your clinician or the clinic staff whether they can help with partner notification, or contact CDPH directly through the CDPH sexual health services page.

You can also call the Illinois HIV/STD Hotline at 1-800-243-2437, listed on the IDPH STD page, for questions.

Illinois rules (77 Ill. Adm. Code Part 693) require clinicians to report certain infections to public health within seven days. These include HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia. In Chicago, those reports go to the local health department. This is routine and is part of how public health tracks infections.

On HIV specifically, the Illinois General Assembly repealed the state's HIV-specific criminal statute (720 ILCS 5/12-5.01) in 2021 through P.A. 102-168. If you have legal questions, a legal aid organization or attorney can help.

Tips for a better conversation

Practice out loud. Saying the words once or twice before makes them easier.
Start with care. Opening with "I care about you" sets the tone.
Be specific and brief. Name the infection, what you know, and what to do next.
Have resources ready. Offering a clinic name or the CDC locator turns worry into a plan.
Offer to go together. Some partners find it easier to test alongside you.
Take care of yourself. You can feel relief, sadness or both afterward.
Respect privacy. Ask your partner's permission before sharing anything with others.

Common mistakes to avoid

Waiting too long. Delay can let an infection spread or return. Earlier is kinder.
Guessing about the infection. Rely on your clinician and test results, not assumptions about who gave it to whom.
Assigning blame. Most people cannot tell where an infection came from, and it rarely helps.
Overpromising. Do not say "you are fine." Only a test and a clinician can tell your partner about their health.
Sharing medicine. Leave treatment decisions to a clinician.
Skipping retesting advice. Follow the follow-up plan your clinician gives you.
Telling others without consent. Keep the conversation between you and the people who need to know.

Where partners can get tested in Chicago

Your partner can use the list of Chicago STD testing locations and costs or the CDC GetTested locator. A few examples from published clinic pages:

Chicago Department of Public Health Sexual Health Specialty Clinics. CDPH lists clinics in Lakeview (2849 N. Clark St., 312.744.5507), Austin (4909 W. Division St., Suite 411, 312.746.4871) and Roseland (200 E. 115th St., 312.747.1090). The page says to call for an appointment, that limited walk-ins are available, and to call to verify hours. CDPH states care is provided regardless of ability to pay or insurance status. Its page does not say visits are free.
Howard Brown Health. Walk-in sexual health care is offered at Sheridan (4025 N. Sheridan Rd.), 63rd St. (641 W. 63rd St.) and the Broadway Youth Center (1023 W. Irving Park Road), phone 773.388.1600. Howard Brown says no appointment is necessary and patients are seen first come, first served. It describes low-cost service and a Sliding Fee Discount Program based on income and family size.
Ruth M. Rothstein CORE Center (Cook County Health). The walk-in STI Screening Clinic at 2020 W. Harrison St. takes calls Monday to Friday, 8:30am to 3:30pm at 312-572-4700. Cook County Health says same-day HIV and STI services are provided. The CDC GetTested listing notes a sliding scale.
Planned Parenthood of Illinois, Rogers Park Health Center. 5725 N Broadway, (773) 942-7193. The CDC GetTested listing says an appointment is required.

For a younger partner, Illinois law (410 ILCS 210/4) allows a minor age 12 or older who may have come into contact with an STI to consent to care for prevention, diagnosis or treatment without parental consent.

Prices and hours change, so ask each clinic before you go. Where a clinic page does not list a price, call and ask.

What to expect afterward

Every situation differs. Many partners feel upset at first and then relieved to have clear next steps. Some may need time before they are ready to talk again.

Getting tested and, when a clinician prescribes it, treated can help lower the chance of passing an infection back and forth. It may also help your partner catch something that has no symptoms. A clinician can explain what testing and treatment can and cannot do for your particular situation.

The conversation itself may feel awkward, and that is normal. Being honest and caring is what most people remember.

How to Tell a Partner You Have an STD (and Expedited Partner Therapy in Illinois)